In true teen magazine style I bring you ‘Things I envy about my friends’ in no particular order.
Lewis – His huge knowledge of music
Kris – The jamiest fucktard on the planet. Never before has a person done so little and got so much in return
Simon – He’s never let being a ginger get in his way
Mark – Once mud wrestled Chuck Norris
Paul – Huge success in his work life
Fordy – Blew a hundred fucking grand
Dave – The man power slides his van for fucks sake
Addis – Does his own building work
Dicksy – erm pass
Nash – Can look over six and a half foot walls without even trying
Those I’ve you missing from the list will apear in part 2 of ‘Things I en…’ due for release just after Duke Nukem Forever
this post has been brought to you by the letter P and trying not to Piss off my friends. It would however have been funnier had the letter F for fuck ‘em I’m ripping the piss presented it.
One free TV and a Wii, thats all!!! and I did some pretty damn hard negotiating!!!!
Hard negotiating?? You mean Like this …
Kris: Your going to have to really try hard to convince me of this, Im a hard headed business man with scruples with which the likes you have never seen.
Salesperson: If you sign up this month, you get a free TV and a Wii
Kris: Where do I sign?
Salesperson: Right here Mr Benbow.
Kris: Does the Wii come with Mario Kart?
Salesperson: Yes – but that means a 24 month contract and not 12 months.
Kris: Whatever, Just get me Mario Kart.
Salesperson: No problem Mr Benbow. Thanks for the Business.
Kris: What is it I have signed up for again?
Have you bugged my phone?